none_neither

I'm tired beyond words.
I'll try to do some translations tomorrow.
So here's some filler.
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engwanoviel showed me this the other day.

And for those of you not in

wtf_japan , you MUST see these.
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LJ stalking horror - a report by none-neither.

pharrezychica is stalking none-neither
pharrezychica's REAL name :	Andre Ralf
pharrezychica's REAL DOB :	02nd May 1981
Height :183 cm	Weight : 63.6 kg
pharrezychica has dreamt about you :	27 times
pharrezychica became interested in you :	07th May 2006
pharrezychica's latest dream about you
After a brief rendezvous in a unisex spa, the two lovers decide to make kittens behind an unattended reception desk. 5 minutes into the experience David Hasselhoff mysteriously appears at the desk with his hand resting casually on the side of his cheek trying to surpress the grin that by-now has engulfed his face. He steals a glimpse of your genetalia before disappearing as quickly as he came.
This is how pharrezychica describes your relationship behind your back
'We are still friends. I think. I hope. none-neither told me it was her father's idea to get the restraining order, so we're cool'
pharrezychica's been stealing stuff from your house too.
pharrezychica wouldn't admit to it, but they were responsible for the sudden disappearence of none-neither's wristwatch
They've even started modifying their body for you
pharrezychica made the bizarre decision to have one of their eyeball's removed especially for you.
They sent the following message to you in a Valentines
Fuck me darling! Fuck me now! Fuck me whilst I'm limber! It won't be long before we both have arthiritis anyway!

The Police
No. calls to the police :	27 times
Your Last Call to The Police
"Police! I need your assistance, someones trying to climb in through my window. It's a stalker I met off the internet. They've been harassing me for months now. I can't walk down the street without them following me. Come quickly and make sure you bring a couple of baseball bats. I could do with beating this fucker into submission."
pharrezychica's Police File
Psycho Killer, Qu’est-ce Que C’est?

Testimonies about pharrezychica

noritenshi - A hardened ex-crook

'You think you know a person and then something like this comes out of the blue. Fuck that, I'm becoming a recluse.'

bunnyrabbit23 - Charlie Manson's long-lost sibling

'Are you serious? Fucking hell. I should've known. Something tells me that pharrezychica is going to die pretty shortly.'

wildcherry08 - Stoner of the crows

'I don't really have that many enemies - but pharrezychica is definitely one of them now.'

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Filler